I feel like I’d be ecstatic to be cockblocked by Josh Hartnett.

Jesus. FUCKING. CHRIST. EVERYBODY.

brb setting up a post office box specifically for receiving your generosity

if this is the only way i get to meet morgan freeman sign me the fuck up

there was a law beagle being walked around an airport i was in and it was so fucking cute i kept looking at the officer trying to find any sort of expression of acceptance bc i wanted to pet it sooooo bad

Not within 100 miles of me. Sadly. :( #smalltownproblems

MOAR FOR MEEEE

ughhh where do I find these

I fucking love radioactive cherries.

I had a convo about this with my mom the other day. Even if we WANTED to only buy U.S./First-World made commodities, it’s virtually impossible to do without being 1) quite wealthy; 2) giving up a lot of ‘privileges’ (is there even a single cell phone not made in a 3rd world country anymore?); 3) really, really, really…

I love(d) low-rise jeans.

WORK THAT POWER, MADELEINE.

This is a bit of a weird tip, but I’ve met a lot of friends abroad through Twitter. We get into chats about an interest, end up friends, and when I headed abroad, met up and had fun.

But will it shrink my pores?

This really felt like a “I despise Taylor Swift so I’m going to write a massive article parsing one music video to twist what my impression is of her into what seems like a valid analysis and then end it with a false-hearted credentialing of her career so everyone thinks I’m being fair and not a nit-picky bitch.”

I see where you’re coming from but I think in this context it says there is no “his story” or “the truth” — this IS the story. This IS the truth. Fuck you, Pitbull.

Hmm, that’s just her story, though. Then there’s the truth, right?

I hope someone in some regulatory position takes a good, hard look at this fucking shit and realizes it’s basically promoting eating disorders and dangerous effects on health. It’s crazy to me that not only is it legal but people are allowed to charge for it. Fuck that shit. Fuck it with Splenda and powdered brownies.

especially when those celebrities are journalists

Phew. For awhile there I was afraid I wouldn’t have The Right Republican Candidate to vote for.