Have you ever take an Ambien? Bc accurate tweet is accurate.

Oh. So this ugly side-eyeing each other publicly is all because of John Mayer? Girls, stop giving him any credit. There are romcoms devoted to the ex-girlfriend and the current girlfriend finding out what a scummy shit the man is, and uniting together against him. This is one of those necessary situations.

Tom Hiddleston is truly a creature of the gods.

Cubist boobs, though. That’s fetish territory, totally inappropriate and understandable.

All descriptors of adultosaur must be well-documented, always. CITATIONS, DOCTOR.

Commenters are the true stars of Jezebel. I come here for the collective intelligence. And snark, fine, okay, the snark, too.

it’s safe to assume she got over his death pretty quickly.

PICS BC I NEED TO SEE YOUR BEAUTY

Is there a collective timeline/in-depth analysis of this feud with Katy Perry? I feel like I’ve missed a lot.

Sorry your invite got lost in the mail. I intercepted it. I’m the surprise guest in her video; you won’t see a poster about me.

*well-documented

I have never felt jealous of a woman with a man, but I got serious pangs of jealousy watching Mia Wasikowska being treated by Tom Hiddleston.

Whenever I get yelled at for forgetting sunscreen at the beach or if I’m outside during a sunny day, I’m like, HAHAHA I never see the sun anyway so it’s not going to make a big difference. #pale4undeadlife

You’re right. Let me get back to you after I’ve chatted with a few 11-year-olds.

the city manager’s office thought the city staff who regularly interact with the City Council needed extra training – in the form of a two-hour training session in March with two speakers from Florida –

twitter is awesome, how else am I supposed to have a live chat about a tv show?

Stop asking questions, you’re talking too much.

Yeah, I read that later on. Kudos :)

I think this needs to be in Shade Court. Ashton: judging everyone who is thankful to have averted a major catastrophic event?

but does this mean we’re more valuable after the years go by or worth nothing at all?