This and this all day long. Had a kid get called out on FB for doing this. He spend everyday off he had for 2 weeks helping clean up his mess. He denied and talked a lot of shit, till photo evidence proved it was him. Now he always shows up to peoples houses that need help.  

‘If its already fucked up, why can’t I fuck it up more’ is not an exscuse. I have heard of guns being pulled over wakes in moderate flooding, then add this disaster, then add Texas.

Cause that could be the wave that knocks over a soaked rooted tree on to your roof, knocks in your garage door. Many things its just common courtesy in any place that floods a lot. The city next to mine just made flooded streets no wake zones because of ass holes like this.

Spoken like someone who doesn’t have to worry about it.

Does it do any good in a place as flat as Houston?

#notallkryptonians

#lazyjoke

What if I do a bump off a Jalopnik sticker?

Subway is trying to fool suckers into thinking its health food.

Its so great, I just don’t want to see it over used.

Is this the appropriate time to use ‘Always bet on black’?

Not everyday that I know of but maybe sometimes in shame in the parking lot. The rate he ate them was impressive, 2 to 3 bites.

How does it feel being a monster?

The Team Builder
Person who always wants to do theme days, team building exercise meetings, decorating contests, matching t-shirts.

Hate them with all my heart, they mean well but just a waste of time. I see my co-workers more than my family. F-U leave me alone, lets get to work or browse the internet.

Microwave has popcorn button, so she uses that button for a mini-bag. Cannot comprehend why it smoldering every time she tried to use it even though it works for a full size bag.

Did it for months.

Bosses wife, can’t complain.

Ex-office mate that had a habit of eating 5 McDonalds Breakfast biscuits and a 2-liter of Coke before he got a promotion and moved in my office (had it by myself for like 2 years). So he was going on a diet cause he was going to turn his life around. Spent 2 days white knuckling eating only celery and I hate the…

Un-nerving amount of times murder runs though my head

Yes! And when you ask them to turn them off they don’t know how to turn down the volume.

Have one one of those too but at least he has the decency to use the one in the basement....most of the time.  

The co-worker who can’t figure out the microwave and consistently sets shit on fire.

11. The Eater
The slow chewing woman that has just moved into the cube behind me.

9:00 Bagel so toasted that it sounds like she is eating a giant crouton.
11:00 A hearts of romaine salad that is the size of a mixing bowl.
12:00 Warms up last nights smelly left overs
1:00 Walk
2:00 Finishes off the rest of giant salad
3:00…