You’re so right! The writers have become so self-important, literal, humourless and judgey. I mainly stay around for the commenters.

Did Amy Schumer really name her baby Genital Fissure for real?

It’s so gross. She has serious issues, motherfuckers. So serious we all watched her meltdown in public, so imagine the shit that’s gone on in private.

Those asshole gossip witches who did the podcast that publicized the Britney conspiracy bullshit and gave credence to it based on their credibility as writers need to take an indefinite hiatus from said podcast and apologize publicly to Britney now that the truth has come to light.

I really hope Britney’s dad has safeguarded her conservatorship against her mom. She was never shy about being a pushy stage mom. I saw some horrible footage once of Britney having a panic attack behind stage, crying and shaking from stage fright, and her mom pushing her to suck it up and go on stage.

I’m pretty sure Gemma Chan’s hat is a tribute to that campiest Elizabeth Taylor movie ever, “BOOM!”

Also, Lupita. You are doing people dirt here.

I also just want to say, I think it’s unfair to lump Lizzo in with the other feather bitches. I think hers’ is telling way more of a story- it’s more detailed, her hair’s more detailed, and it’s got a lounge vibe to it that is saying “step into my BOUDOIR.” Those other…

Harry. >:( Duder. It permanently annoys me that we have decided “myself” is a sophisticated version of “I.” Ourselves can’t do things. We do things to ourselves.

Thank you! I do write, mostly ghostwriting for my day job and then sad poems that keep getting rejected from literary journals.

Hi sweetie pie Archie! I completed another week of cardiac rehab, finished my continuing education credits by the April 30 deadline on April 29, and had a discussion with The Bartender about moving abroad.

The best advice anyone ever gave me after I lost my mom is “Don’t make any life altering decisions for at least six months.” It kept me from doing some really unconsidered but very major things. Also, you just lost both your parents. Your idea, while amazing and selfless, sounds like it would come with a lot of…

I want Dolly to make a T-shirt for me that says “Having an affair is like playing pool on two tables. You might have the balls, but your stick will get tired.”

When Kelly got her appendix removed did she yell out “ Steve Carrell !!!!”

I think Demi really needs to surround herself with sober people to stay sober and I hope she doesn’t get back with Wilmer just because her family loves him because 1. he seems gross and like he like young women so he can run their lives and 2. I think she needs to learn to be sober by herself without other people…

Harris: You have answers to these questions?

An army of women with photographic evidence could come forward and claim that Trump demanded that they abort his child and his cult of evangelicals and hillbillies would shrug, say they were lies, and accuse Bill and Hillary of selling the body parts of of babies who were aborted after being carried full-term. There…

“You’ve got no outside mirror.”
“No, we lost that.”
“You have no functioning gauges.”
“Not a one. However, the radio still works! Funny as that may seem.”

This is the GOP’s new ‘welfare queen’ that doesn’t exist, except much more dangerous as unhinged right-wingers will actually kill people over this.

“You boys feel like this vehicle is safe for highway travel?”