A boat’s a boat, but a mystery box could be anything. It could even be a boat!

Fix the Knicks and make them shine/Get ‘em to win like it’s ’69

“The last hitter who hit .400 is dead and gone. There isn’t going to be another of those.”

When you’re Joe West, every day is Thanksgiving- lots of food, and unsolicited political opinions that make everyone else vaguely uncomfortable.

For anybody to think this is a perfect game, they’re kidding themselves.

“man, if I had a chin for every tired excuse I hear I would have about the same amount of chins”

Wait, so when Jordan dunked from half court in Space Jam, did he get 3 points for that?? I don’t remember but I wanna say he got 2. PLOT HOLE.

i’m guessing lebron isn’t going to stay if the team ownership isn’t interested in listening to him. he brought a championship to cleveland, he’s got no need to stay any longer

Why is there a toad sitting next to Louie CK?

“All it lacked was a halftime show and two more quarters and it would’ve been American football.”

NHL reviews have been criticized for many of the same reasons, but they get the calls right, that’s the point.

Hey, how about helping another guy get ungreyed? I was thinking about my dead dad....

If there is a kid within relatively safe lean-over-to-toss/hand-it distance, you give up the ball. If we worked from this general principle from all kinds of situations in life, I’d like to think that we wouldn’t have fuck knobs like Hample and Trump oozing all over the place.

You gotta hand it to the guy. He is the world’s skinniest hoarder.

My point exactly. Apparently you are now a racist for wanting to avoid such an atmosphere.

People of all races are willing to pay a premium to avoid riding to work in a often late, cramped, smelly, dirty, place full of sometimes mentally unstable individuals. People of all races prefer an uber/lyft to a taxi for the same reason.

Yes. The drug-addicted, unkempt people who want to talk to you about their ‘spider bites.’ I don’t want to be around those losers either.

This is how life works. People that can afford the luxuries will pay for them. Just like people buying large houses in affluent neighborhoods.

Actually, they do one thing markedly well. Haul kids around with their accompanying baggage.