I read it for a while, oddly amused, and then hit this and had a good laugh:

This summer I lost a pet of the sort who adored me and followed me around and wanted nothing better than to spend all her time with me, and it hit me really hard. Possibly it hit me so hard because she died in my hands. One of the best pieces of advice a friend gave me was to go find and watch the Mr. Rogers bit…

Nah. This just means we need better robots, ones who are capable of discerning emotional states.

I'm a mermaid. Not a particularly sexy mermaid, either, unless fishnet crochet sweaters, fishscale-print leggings, and tutus are sexy. I did make myself a crown out of a thrift store shell necklace and some ridiculous fake pearls.

My sister had that! She also built a stunning dreamhouse out of cardboard boxes, complete with elevator made of plastic strawberry baskets and yarn. My own favourite doll, Miko (anyone remember her?) had a houseboat made of a shoe box that she sailed across the carpet.

... I sort of want this, actually.

There is a girl in my college biology class who wears a tiara. Every day. Tiaras with bedazzled hoodies. I kind of love her. I have no idea what her name is, so I call her Science Princess in my head.

I'm fascinated by the customer reviews on the foot stroker. There's only two but they're wonderful and very serious.

Fellow Canadian here. Twelve or thirteen years back, when I was about eighteen and living at home, my dad's then-girlfriend came through the kitchen while I was frying myself up a quesadilla for lunch and demanded to know what I was making.

When I was about seven or eight, I complained to my dad about the shoes I'd got for softball (and had loved madly, black and white high-tops with some small hot pink accents, they were rad, very eighties, and I would wear them now), and how the other girls on my team had told me I had boy's shoes. He pointed out to…

This is the greatest gif.

Yes. We are all gods.

I enjoy being a world to tiny beings, huddled in the roots of my eyelashes like small animals at the base of trees, living peacefully by the salt water springs of my eyeballs.

Aw, they're cuddling.

I start college on the 2nd. I, like yourself, am also terribly anxious and terrified. Everyone says to me, you must be so excited! No, terrified. Also excited. But terrified.

I just spent entirely too long googling smegma. Any time is entirely too long.

Agreed. As a small child I was quite enamoured with the bit where Cinderella's stepsisters chopped off parts of their feet to try and jam them into the shoe.

Ariel's in the wheelchair because she has a mermaid tail under the dress. No one can tell me differently.

This is pretty great. I'm used to being the one with the really weirdo upbringing when I talk to my peers about how we got sex ed. But that list is pretty close to what I actually got.

I totally remember being told "no, you keep your hands out of your underwear when you're in the living room." Frequently.