There's a related madness referred to as Miracle Mineral Solution 2, which is the idea that the same benefits can also come about with calcium hypochlorite, also known as pool shock. It's dry chlorine, essentially. I work at a pool supply store, and periodically we get a rash of people coming in trying to buy it for…

I've heard the phrase "tic tac dick," as in, a comically small penis. Otherwise, I got no idea.

My mother once claimed when she was learning to drive left turns scared her so much that she would plot out routes to avoid ever having to turn left. I'll have to tell her this.

Under normal circumstances, opening doors for other people is fine. Insisting is... awkward and uncomfortable. I dated someone who spontaneously and suddenly decided mid-relationship that when we went somewhere and he was driving, I was *not allowed* to open the passenger side door. He had to do it *for me.* I did…

We had a dog once that actually caught a squirrel. We were camping, the squirrel was going nuts about OH MY GOD THERE'S A DOG, and was harassing her. She ignored the squirrel for hours until it took its harassment the point of getting too close, at which point — YOINK, squirrel caught.

When I was a small child, I discovered that by moving back and forth in the bathtub I could create waves, and if I kept moving with the waves they would get bigger. Eventually I would stop and let the waves splash all over me. Water would end up on the floor and I would be in trouble, but it was so cool to me, then.

I have a beat-up, 1994 Dodge Dakota. I'm imagining this on my truck and giggling madly. I love it.