He’s still the second worst Simmons when dealing with the Celtics.

I regret having only one star to give here.

“Don’t ever get old. Don’t ever get rich.”

I was thinking, this sounds a lot like being married to an alcoholic: his free time planned around one specific activity and becoming angry when he’s asked to stop doing it for even one night; blaming the spouse for her unhappiness and suggesting she’s a nag, or she never lets him have any fun; the disinterest in sex…

Gimme a break! Like you’ve never thought about recruiting for a sex cult.

Turning Ricky Rubio into a clutch shooter is worth CotY by itself.

[in peeling decals on the greasy clouded glass pane of a flimsy wooden office door] Dick Rubio, Private Investigator

We all know that the best defense is poaching defensive rebounds from your own big men

He’s Rick Rubio now. Maybe even Richard Rubio.

Thank you for gracing us with your presence, O mighty rhetorician, that useth no verbal crutches, ever. Please dispense thy wisdom, that we may yet all become such perfect speakers.

Additional reporting contributed by Eric Van Allen.

I can empathize: before I figured out the right roster on Super Mario RPG, I had a real Mallow problem.

It’s not that Melo is 33; it’s that he just finished year 15. He’s 7th in minutes among active players. Everyone above him not named LeBron is worthless. You have to go down to 15 (Chris Paul) before you get to a player who’s not worthless, and he only played 58 games this year.

Oh, you mean this poster that isn’t at all hidingit? It’s more like the one people are altering is actually heavily darkened, or just oversaturated with inks to the point it was blacked-out. I mean, you can see what looks like really cheap printer lines all over it, like it was taken from a second source, printed and…

Now its the Phoenix Suns that are of no consequence.

I don’t think you have to believe malice on his part to think what he did was wrong. I would categorize what he said as careless or inconsiderate instead of mean or evil. However, when I say something inconsiderate or careless, I still apologize and take responsibility. That’s what I think this.

But why did they make the gorilla Albino?

I wonder if there will be a huge spike in births in 9 months like during blackouts of major cities?

I’m sorry, I thought you were serious about ketchup.

There’s been like three concerning stories regarding player behavior, if we’re being generous with that definition. There’s nearly 130 players in Overwatch League — all but one of which are hyper-competitive young dudes. I’m legitimately surprised it’s not way, way worse. Settle down, OWL is not that bad.