I think the lesson is if you are negotiating with a d-bag of this nature, don’t underestimate his ability to pull some d-bag-esque move like this.

As a Denver fan, allow me to say that I am extremely happy with how we traded the draft rights to this guy in order to get the 5th- and 7th-ranked power forwards on our depth chart. *secures noose, steps onto footstool*

Get a load of this snitch!

It’s great when jokes like that fall into your Lapland.

I fought back by buying an Alexa and installing it in my home, which contains two frequently whiney/screamy young children. They want to listen? Joke’s on them.

Meanwhile the Bulls will continue to be Helsinking down the standings.

He’s hit most of his threes at the top of the key and he shows a good sense of timing when he trails the break and pops open shots with a nice quick release.

Well I asked Alexa if this would be an issue for me and she said it was fine.

“Was I frustrated? Sure!”

No, no, no. Fluff is the kind of s’mores short cut that would give poor Albert an aneurysm.

Genius is oft decried as heresy by those who are butt.

I only learned this year, my 38th, that you should make your s’mores with a Reese’s peanut butter cup for the chocolate layer.

I hold the marshmallow in my hand over the flame of the Bic lighters the have at the 7-11 counter. You gotta walk around the aisles while you do it though, or they’ll catch you and take the lighter away and the mallow won’t get burned enough. gotta bring your own marshmallow too, they won’ tsell you just the one.…

“You stole that from me, too.” — Kenyon Martin

He might, that’s a pretty distinctive hat.

So, some were udderly confused?

Goddamnit, just write the damn pages already.

If I knew anything about art, geography, 18th-19th-20th-century Presidents, French culture, opera, human anatomy, animal anatomy, food, science in general, potent potables, and potpourri, I could totally crush Jeopardy with the edge I’d have in sports and pop culture.

Once they reached London, Jacksonville players experienced a pronounced difference in how they viewed themselves.

Some people will go to great lengths to avoid being cast in a Marvel/DC movie.