Derek Sanderson’s pregame warmup was “a steak and a blonde.” Hockey is the best.

LOL @ “from time to time”

If I were him I’d avoid US Soccer at all costs.

I fear that if Pulisic gets transferred to Barca, Billy will die of an orgasmeurism.

Ramos even has more goals in his career (81) than Andrés Iniesta (72), which is just weird.

Sergio Ramos has a magical forehead

He’s not Beyoncé

That would be true if they were mostly making fun of his music. Taking shots at his looks because his music isn’t good seems wrong. Imagine if they started calling a female musician a “puff pastry.”

Jesus Fuck, I am getting really sick of Jezebel randomly hating on people. Did he beat a girlfriend? Rape a baby? What did he do besides be a UK ginger with a sort-of wonky eye? Jezebel used to have at least semi-good reasons for detesting a given celebrity but this is getting really old.

Has Ed Sheeran done anything bad or is it just a Jezebel hate-on? I don’t mind this hate-on, since I don’t have any feelings for Ed Sheeran one way or another, but I want to know.

Same.
Very first thought. “Since when are there tandem races?”

Cue 20 comments with links about tandem races starting with “Actually...”

She challenged Remy to respond in 72 hours when it took her three weeks, ad she couldn’t even do it alone? I see...

Mourinho was heard to say, “yes, I know. I have that same reaction every morning in front of the mirror”

Crazy respects crazy. If anything, Putin watched that clip and ordered up a few staged-kid-hug shots of his own.

“I can’t believe you guys are still in 6th place!” - little Russian boy

Gross.

Some days I really hate America. Rather than punish them, we just love to reward the absolute dregs of humanity by giving them not only a spotlight, but financial gain. It’s sickening.

Holy shit.

The most insane stat I heard about the end of the game: PSG completed FOUR passes between the 85th minute and full-time. THREE of those were from kick-off after conceding Barcelona goals.

Oh, and the one I picked was the Falcons blowing the 25 point lead in February. That was literally the most mind blowing series of fuck ups I’ve ever seen in professional football.