Why don’t more things say “CONTAINS NO POOP”? Now I wonder.

I applied my Burt’s Bees as I was reading it not even thinking of what I was doing.

I’m okay with the public banana ban. They’re disgusting and they smell awful.

Pros: dimples, probably has good snacks

Hey man, Waffle House owners don’t fuck around.

“ The second item not reported accurately was the time the most recent incident occurred, 2AM. We have associates who have to make snap decisions on our third shifts to provide for their own safety and the safety of our customers.”

All my friends are dead of dysentery. :(

“there’s no evidence to support the perception he intended to create alarm.”

I live in the Deep South, so I have the exact opposite experience.

They never took a doggie bag home and they never touched Golem Jesus’s meal.

Gavin continued, “I’m never alone, I’m alone all the time, are you at one or do you lie, we live in a wheel where everyone steals, but when we rise it’s like strawberry fields,”

It took five days to announce it publicly. We have no idea what exactly is going on or has gone on. Perhaps she was camping with friends and then they came home without her.

I’m 45 and still go to my salon for waxing - and the Brazilian, at that. If my less than perfect aging/soft body is the worst thing they see all day, I figure they have got it pretty good. Plus, I am an excellent tipper.

I used to feel the same. I recently got my first bikini wax after years of avoiding it because of both fat and what I was convinced was an abnormal amount of hair. I scoped out a bunch of different places and asked my friends. Turns out I found a great place and the waxer said nothing about either. The way I figure…

I am not gonna use numbers here but I’m legit pretty fat and no one’s ever given me any kind of crap for it. Well, there was one lady who kind of hemmed and hawed over how long it took so I gave her a lower tip and didn’t go back.

I am fat. If I ever gain weight or go to a new place I just warn them in advance so they can make the appointment a little longer, and I always tip well since it does take extra work AND extra wax. You are paying for a service. No fat is too fat. If anyone ever thinks it will be a problem (like maybe it will take an…

Since I will be in the greys forever few will see this, but I had severe hyperemesis gravidarum. It is not morning sickness. It is severe nausea and/or vomiting. It lasted all day, all night, and for the entire pregnancy, when I delivered at 35 weeks due to pre-eclampsia.

Of all the stuff I would’ve imagined Australia wouldn’t have, waffles would not have been high on the list.

I work for Super Chill Fungus.

I have absolutely no problem with guys who open doors for me, and I even think it's cute when a guy on a date walks around to my side of the car & opens my door first. That being said, you seemed to miss the point the commenter was making - it's annoying to her when men literally make a situation more difficult in…