I distinctly remember Lost in Space being the first movie that cut through my "I'm 12 and scifi movies are awesome!" bias and realizing that it was, in fact, not a very good movie. I've been a critic ever since.

Perhaps she was partaking of a game the Quebecois call "Trolling"

I have a coworker who, when asked the whereabouts of any other coworker who's late for a meeting, just responds "probably pooping".

"Was he going on to you too about the alcoves?"

The real Great Job Internet is here (places hand on your heart)

Other male contenders for the the Shouty Awards ("The Oscars of Yelling") :

"A DRINKING PROBLEM? I HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM?! FUCK YOU, PECK, YOU'RE A FUCKING MORMON! NEXT TO YOU, WE ALL HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM!"

I accept beans in chili, but only if they're pronounced "bayns"

Too many properly-spelled words, not enough cringeworthy "Obummer/Killary/Dumbocrats" puns.

"Well, what did we learn?"
"I don't know sir."
"I don't fucking know either. I guess we learned not to do it again….but fuck if I know what we did."
"Yes sir, it's hard to say"

Gess-ta-POYN

I was really hoping it was Badalamenti himself, but no, the photos don't match.

Pynchon, is that you?

Gesundheit!

Yes! Stuck in my head now and I'm not mad about it.

I had an iTunes playlist I called "Sax on the Beach" containing only songs with awesome sax parts - Midnight City was on there, along with Baker Street. Also: Dire Straits' "Your Latest Trick" and of course George Michael's "Careless Whisper".

The AV Club
a little too long, squishy, and sloppy for its own good.

"Hi. Okay so I know this is a BBQ restaurant, but can you take the flour from the fried chicken batter, the sugar from the rib sauce, and the butter from the mac n' cheese…and make me a croissant?

My parents made me take "just one bite" of a particularly fishy eel dish and I threw up everywhere. That was the end of that rule.

“Give me your Texas, your KC,
Your Carolina sauces yearning to baste meat,
The sticky dressings of your Southern state.
Send these, the tangy, pepper-spiced to me,
I lift my fork beside the golden plate!”