The A.V. Club
They all look the same and they just sit there wiggling around crying, peeing, farting or falling over.

Un-more plastic.

Less Fewer plastic.

I am a literal project manager and nobody is reporting their status on this morning's actionables because everyone apparently starts drinking at lunch on Fridays in this office.

"Differential" when people mean "difference."

But according to my Facebook feed, she is LITERALLY HITLER for "stealing" this role from Asian actresses! Maybe I just need new Facebook friends.

I once hit one with my car while driving through the Arizonan desert. Felt so bad afterwards!

I'm not familiar with "Ghost in the Shell". Is that when you crack open a pistachio only to find out you got a hollow one?

Wasn't he a bad guy in Men in Black 3?

Hey, norm, I thought you were goin' fishin' up at Mille Lacs?

Let's just stick to the crimes we're good at: wrecking the economy every 15 years, starting world wars, enabling Blake Shelton's career, etc.

*BWOOOMMMMM* is so 2010, Grandpa!
Kids are into *BWAARRRRMMPPP* these days.

So you only see like 1-2 movies a year?

Yes! For an unknown child actor, under heavy rubber monkey prosthetics, to sell that timing and that look is either some Oscar-winning acting or directing, I'm not sure which.

It's fine not to have seen a famous movie (Star Wars, Godfather, etc.)
What is unacceptable however are people who hold up "I've never seen Star Wars" as something that makes them somehow unique/fascinating/superior. Those people are THE WORST™

That's basically the plot of the 3rd Matrix movie.

Early: Jurassic Park
Mid: Twister or Jumanji
Late: The Mummy

"Would you cast me? I'd cast me. I'd cast me hard."

"He has his father's eyes!"

You've never seen Hot Tub Time Machine?!