Still a cleverer title than "The Starving Games".

I'm pretty sure the radical wing of the Salvation Army already exists. You know, the wing that believes the scriptures command us to round up and execute gay people:

"We don’t come together to celebrate the end of wars anymore, because our wars never end. " Well, shit just got real.

Aha! It says that at the top. I'm just asleep at the wheel here.

I was wondering why I hadn't seen trailers for this until I saw the release date…why are we reviewing movies that came out 22 years ago?

And stay tuned for the halftime show, featuring my roommate standing on her chair, screaming and pointing. If it's anything like her performance last year with the broom, you won't wanna miss it!

My patience is at an end.

And for what? For a little bit of football.
There's more to life than football, you know.

Why do that when I can just throw an unwrapped Reese's Cup on my apartment floor and watch Rat Bowl unfold a few minutes later?

I'm just hoping they introduce Jacopo Saltarelli turtle as Leonardo's purported gay love interest.

Much like internet comment boards!

Working title: Warsaw Housing Projects, je t'aime

I'll buy it - I live in an extremely Polish neighbohood and I've always said my landlord sounds like a Wiseau impersonator.

^In the year 2114, the internet will have devolved to just be a single banner ad flashing this message.

To be fair, the original working title was
"SocialShareLike-CloudWeb2.0Badge-Winning Citystigram.ly"

In his defense, you probably shouldn't have gotten drunk and broken into his house.

"Oh come, oh come, Emmaaaaanuel."

And that vaudeville toe-tapper "Givin' Head in a Bear Costume"

And don't forget the all-cast show-stopper: "Forever. And Ever. And Ever!"

It was, until it was exposed to be A FRAUD!