I lived in Britain for a bit, and at least in the rich progressive London neighborhood I stayed in, they are PROUD of keeping “toxic fluoride chemicals” out of their water and dental products. 

Right, agreed - I certainly don’t need my horror/fantasy/sci-fi movies to be super logical or realistic overall (I love Star Wars despite its fiery explosions in the vacuum of space and a world where they have faster-than-light travel and fully AI robots, but seemingly no internet or cell phones.)

It is one of those rare purely bad movies.

In spite of the distressingly familiar practice of commenters mercilessly tearing down other commenters after they’ve put them on a pedestal (witness JohnCon)

Sure - but those turds are so runny, foul-smelling, and corn-studded that they’re unforgettable.

“Lets his metaphorical aspirations get ahead of the nuts and bolts of clear, cogent storytelling” - so it’s Us, Part II then.

“It’s all fine” doesn’t sell clickbait ads, mister! You’ll never make it a day in this cut-throat world of digital journalism! Not a day!

“Rainn Wilson as Dr. Demento” - ok, that’s pretty inspired casting 

“All birthday cakes are served at 350F! Look at any cookbook - it’s how you make a cake, it’s the same everywhere. I don’t care that it melted your plastic fork when you tried to eat it!” 

Maybe they can pass on that handy tip to Starbucks...

“I’m tired of finding biblical artifacts - I’d rather assassinate democratically elected leaders of Central American countries and orchestrate the deaths of black civil rights leaders” - Indy, 1949.

A new character? An original movie? That’s insane! You are deeply unwell. I’m calling a mental health professional for you immediately. Please remain calm.

Hard disagree - all of Ford’s iconic characters (Indy, Han, Deckard) have been world-weary, morally grey, skeptical, and tired of this shit.

Um, he drank from the Holy Grail, he canonically can’t die!

Armie? He’s busy having an old friend for dinner...

So you’re saying the franchise, ahem, BELONGS IN A MUSEUM!

“You were my (Russo) brother(s)! I loved you! It was said that you bring balance to the streaming wars, not join them!”

“[Galadriel] was then of Amazon disposition”- ah, so JRR Tolkien himself endorses this streaming deal!

Yikes, is “neither” an option?

I hope she presents all awards fully in-character either as Maude from Big Lebowski or Linda from Magnolia.