If I’m doing my math correctly, a 2.8 second 0-60mph means that, in metric, this car could do the kessel run in approximately 7 parsecs.

“What’s the meterage?”

I have overdosed on DeMuro for the day. The rest of my emails will be filled with nonsensical points, snark, italics, and then bringing up the nonsensical points later for a punchline. Which you would know if you followed me on Twitter.

Otherwise known as the Nissan Motorsports business plan.

I’ve got a sudden and indescribable urge to watch regular car reviews now.

I don’t believe you. If he were asian he would already have one.

the fuck just happened here?

I’m always looking for creative places to store cantaloupes!

I’ve never heard an impression of Mickey Mouse doing an impression of Jerry Seinfeld.

Until now.

My life is complete.

Some of us don’t buy these used luxury vehicles because we want to impress others. I’m perfectly fine with myself and don’t have the need nor desire to impress strangers I’ll never know. These used luxury cars with massive depreciation are a great way to drive a vehicle with loads of luxury and build quality without…

Well at least I can stop trying because someone already won life.

“Gay Man’s Chevy”

How about the diabolically complex front suspension of the Rover 2000?

Jesus, that overrun. Must be what Shaq’s farts sound like.

Vote: Kershaw Rake

Over 310 mph in the Freedom Units measurement system!

They ran. They ran at first in terror, then in desire, once I distributed leaflets explaining how much more efficient this was. I drove onto the lawn at Weaver Street and revved the engine until about half the women there were pregnant.

That’s like asking, “What’s the worst kind of cancer?"

'tis a silly place

Sounds like an underwhelming pile of meh.