Nah, they just didn’t have his brand of smokes in stock down at the corner shop.  He’ll be back any minute now.

I just miss my real dad. This guy is some stranger who’s fucking my mother

The main problem with The Adam Project review isn’t so much that its themes and plotting recall other, better reviews, though there is certainly some of that. It’s that the review isn’t smart or ambitious enough to meaningfully engage with the ideas that would make it stick in the minds of readers. C-

This third Godfather movie, if someone paid to see it in the theaters, is there a way to get a refund?

Michael Corleone: a villain or a tragic hero?

I’m glad that the show made without Pamela Anderson’s permission is handling the idea of exploiting women without their consent so well.

Oh, so he’s ripping off my business cards now? Well that’s just peachy keen!

I think he has business cards that say "weirdly sarcastic about everything."

“you see, SPECTRE is a secret organization of the evil elite, just like Quantum, only more evil and elite.”

Ironic that the biggest complaint about Tom Hank’s Polar Express character was...dead eyes.

Sounds like he wants his future roles to be a bit more low key.

I loved seeing Mr. Mackey’s mom. And I gotta say, adding the slide whistle sound effect every time Butters’ horse got an untimely boner made me laugh like an idiot.

Yeah, I’ve always described it as a light-hearted Mission Impossible, and that is an endorsement.

I feel like there are two solid different reads on Batman: that Batman is a scary badass persona constructed to protect the traumatized kid, Bruce, that he still is deep down, and that Batman is the hardened, bitter man that he really is and Bruce Wayne is the mask he wears to function in society. There are good…

I can only assume that he filed this lawsuit instead of hiring a team of ex-cons to infiltrate the production company, hack its computer system, and release all the details of the negotiation.  The latter only makes for better-than-average TV.

This is Batman, Year 2. He's not going to have perfected these things. 

Yeah, it’s Friday and I’m not clicking on a picture of a decanter.

What a weird complaint.

He's here. He's there. He's everyfuckingwhere.