My favorite O.J. Simpson joke from Weekend Update:

No tweets from David Hasselhoff yet?

Seen in the vicinity just moments before...

I’ll never forget how much he constantly shat on OJ Simpson:

Keep in mind that this was the role he did immediately before:

You know what I never got in Speed? Why was Jeff Daniels on that raid? He was still walking with a cane after getting shot by Keanu, and suddenly he goes into full SWAT mode?

I don’t think I’ve ever heard a bad thing about Jeff Daniels.  Anyone?

I mean all they had to do was shoot the snowball scene and he’s in. That scene is a minor masterpiece of comedic buildup and release and the steely, silent rage he conveys with just a look goes a long way to selling it. 

his managers thought doing the part was “a huge mistake” and staged what Daniels calls “an intervention” before he left to work on the movie, telling him he was “a serious actor” and that Dumb And Dumber “will ruin your career.”

MATT DAMON

God... you watched it twice?  On purpose?

I’m so fucking tired of this complaint though. The issue isn’t the size of the screen, it’s that directors put so much visually confusing CGI jump-cut orgies in the final cut that unless you’re seeing it on a screen 20 feet tall, you’re never going to be able to keep track of what is going on. It’s like everyone…

I absolutely complained during Manhunt and Waco that Jane Lynch and Connie Ventress were chosen to play Janet Reno when Will Ferrell was clearly available.

This is good because I think we’re slowly beginning to approach a clear demarcation line in how we “create” inclusiveness.

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: the only person who should be playing Linda Tripp is John Goodman.

It’s called acting. People are playing dress-up as other people. What’s next? An actress can’t wear a red wig and instead you need to hire a ginger? If anyone should be offended by a skinny lady wearing a fat suit to represent her, it’s Linda Tripp. Checks notes...Linda Trip died last year. You know what I mean.

To be fair, Casino Royale also considered James Bond’s balls.

I mean, “Look, if James Bond doesn’t want to have any fucking fun with the genre any more, we’ll do it” has sorta been the series’ entire reason for existing in the first place, no?

Well, the movie was also heartbreaking...ly BAD amirite??? :P :P :P