Look, hindsight is always 50/50. It’s not rocket appliances.

Gruden is in rebuilding mode for 2018 and 2019, but he does expect his team to be a Super Bowl contender in 5050.

Here’s a fun game, let’s see who finishes the season with a better career win percentage:

Reporter: What’s your favorite mid-90's Mark Morrison song?
Gruden: Easy. Return of the M- WAIT A MINUTE! FUCK YOU!

I bet sex in Buffalo only happens on folding tables.

“There’s too much teeth in my blow job.”

Only Boston fan can complain that a book titled Belichick: The Making of the Greatest Football Coach of All Time is somehow unfair to them.

“If you’re married 18 years to a grouchy person who gets under your skin and never compliments you, after a while you want to divorce him,”

We were warned gay marriage would lead to this.

“Tom knows Bill is the best coach in the league, but he’s had enough of him. If Tom could, I think he would divorce him.”

“If Tom could, I think he would divorce him.”

We’ll have to wait for the prequel spinoff Ich bin Ein Werner were we chronicle his fall from legit civil engineer working in west germany, to digging tunnells under the berlin wall, to eventually building the super lab.

By not giving a damn about any laws but the laws of physics, baby.

Sneak peak of the next episode . . .

The Vikings just picked up an incredibly accurate kicker, you say? Why do I think that’s going to turn out exactly the same way it has multiple times over the course of that particular franchise’s history?

Belichick has nothing to do with this.

I got a doctorate in cocaine and sexual assaults, he just got an associates, from community college. 

If there’s one guy you can trust, it’s the cocaine addict, accused of multiple sexual assaults, who stabbed a teammate in the neck.

OK, I liked the Faith Hill version.  Not the song really, but Faith Hill is not unattractive. 

I’m always torn, because Carrie’s FOOTBAW songs are fucking awful but she is also insanely gorgeous, so if you mute it, the experience goes up by 1000%. The MNF theme is still classic, but it’s done by a garbage human being, so if you close your eyes and pretend it’s any Southern yokel singing it, the experience also…