NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH DISMISSION

He came in through the bathroom, Winslow
Protected by a silver spoon
But now he soldiers on and wanders
By the mobile homes of her own lagoon

This is incredible. I guess I always suspected something like this could happen but to actually see it still sort of amazes.

Bryan Colangelo being taken down by advanced statistical analysis of his burner Twitter accounts is possibly the best example of poetic justice that I have encountered in my life.

“The Ringer’s Mostly Fine, But Please Stop Doing Those Tournament Bracket Gimmicks For The Best Wire Character Or Whatever, For The Love Of God, It’s Not 2012 Anymore” doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue, either.

But, you see, then Mr. Simmons had a daughter and became a feminist. And that was the day we finally achieved complete gender equality.

Bill Simmons: Okay, since you’re a girl, I’ll walk you thru this

His boss harasses Laura, he says “no comment” and you think she’s being petty?

This is the best Deadspin post ever, and I say that as a long-time Deadspin fanboy.

Clint Capela is called the “Pancake Emperor” (饼皇) because in Chinese slamming home alley-oop lob passes is called “eating pancakes” (吃饼).

I think there probably always will be a defensible argument on behalf of Jordan as the GOAT. His unblemished Finals record, the fact that LeBron almost certainly will finish shy of his six titles, the scoring average and scoring titles, just how totally he dominated the league and sports and pop culture during his…

Oh, he’s aware

That’s because GOATs prefer grass. (Or hard courts, I guess?)