rjmasterson
Rory Masterson
rjmasterson

Trick question: Trump doesn’t drink.

The Christian Hackenberg Experience

If you bet on the Jets to lose, they will manage to win just to spite you.

So a guy goes to the doctor and the doctor says, “what’s wrong with you” and the guy says, “I have opioid-induced constipation” and the doctor says OIC

I’m a huuuuuuuge Real Madrid fan.

I AM FILING THE PAPERS TO ADOPT KELLY OUBRE JR. AS MY SON RIGHT FUCKING NOW

“What advantages does this war have over, say, an ethnic cleansing, which I could also afford?”

“I’m sorry Mr. Westbrook but we don’t award the MVP purely because of spite”

Every statistical indicator available to us suggests he makes his teammates better.