I give free cryotherapy to friends/family in the form of my icy, cold-as-the-touch-of-death hands. It is fun to sneak up on people, then lightly poke them in a warm spot—like the back of the neck—and watch them twitch and flail.

Everyone knows you need to cut it at exactly 74.201938 degrees on a left hand bias to get that flavor. I mean, next you're going to tell me that you don't know how to make carrots taste like chocolate.

I’ve got a friend who’s got one that talks to you! In Korean, with no option for Mandarin or Japanese let alone English, but it still talks!

You can change the tunes on them. I never have just because “Twinkle” is so gloriously irrelevant to the process of cooking rice.

I have several friends that remove their wallets / phones when they come over to hang out. There have been numerous times when we have to do a scavenger hunt for their stuff when they’re getting ready to leave.

This happened to my parents as well. We got denied all tuition help for similar reasons while friends of mine who were more well off got help. BS. This was years ago. My favorite is now the alumni association is always asking me for money and I love turning them down.

Probably really good at first, then it just sours and gets bitter over time.

Bake ‘em Danno!

Ya hear that tomato, you’re past your prime.

Last time I saw a ship get scraped up like that was when I saw a historical document on the NSEA-Protector pulling out of drydock for the first time.

I might be the last person on earth who knows and cares the jars of little red peppers say “pimiento.”

One summer I wanted to make mojitos for my friend’s parent’s pool party. The grocery store was out of pre-packaged mint so I went to the garden section of Lowe’s and bought a giant potted plant of it. Drinks were had, the party went well. A month later I went back and his mom had planted the mint in her garden not…

And use some cream cheese and sour cream for the ultimate, yet heart stopping, mashers!

We never heat the butter or the milk when we make mashed potatoes. I can’t see how that’d be necessary if your potatoes are hot when you mash them. We just add the cold butter, mix with our hand mixer a bit to loosen them up and then start adding milk until desired consistency. The mash is always still plenty hot when…

Not the best. You'll have to run it for a bit to get everything smooth but I personally love mine. It's good enough and at $150 for the giant set it's worth. Vitamix is better for sure but if spending that much on a blender makes you uncomfortable this is the way to go. I've had mine for about 2 years

Not the best. You'll have to run it for a bit to get everything smooth but I personally love mine. It's good enough…

Ermagheerd the detail in those maps! I have to recommend Dan Carlin Hardcore History and his podcast series about the first world war, such a bizarre war it was and the huge waste of human life, one can of course argue that all human lifes lost in war is a waste but the first world war was in a class of it’s own.…

I fucking fucking FUCKING hate it when I see quotes on my news feed.

For smoking, get a BBQ Guru temperature control system. You can set it at 225 degrees (or whatever temp) and forget it. It works with kettle grills, smokers, BGE's, whatever. I think their cheapest unit is around $140 now. Seriously, that's the number one best tip far and away for smoking.

If anyone's itching to play an updated version of this game, check this out- http://forums.civfanatics.com/forumdisplay.p…

It's a mod for the very lackluster Civ4 Colonization game, which turns what was a steaming pile of horsepoop of a reboot into an amazing experience, worthy of the original Colonization. It's also…