I’m confused. Are you driving the Ferrari? Or are you working a corner with some other hookers when a potential john loses control of his wheels and runs you down?

Everyone says the most likely cause of my death is my wife. And that I probably deserved it.

The one I noticed just last month was the “pound” of stick butter was now only 14 ounces.

I use it every time in my go-to office party dessert: banana pudding. It makes a big difference. One sight of my firm (dare I say “perky*”) peaks and things start jumping**.

I don’t know. With your history and Australia’s wildlife, I’d assume something would get you before you left the airport.

I’d stay away from Australia if I was you.

I had no magikarps from my normal areas, then I went to a lake/pond in my subdivision and got a ton of them. Color me happily surprised.

I’m surprised at the FDA’s ruling. I thought for sure they’d...

(there was this girl—long story)

I’d serve them at some sort of shower

Interesting. My experience, albeit limited, with water-cooling is that it’s louder than CPU fans. Add in 5 more fans and what appears to be an open-sided case and I wouldn’t expect it to be quiet.

While that looks nice, why would I keep an object with numerous fans right next to my head? I’d have to wear the headphones all the time or the noise would drive me bonkers.

Gonna break out my hip pack and BOOM - I’m one of the cool kids again.

Me: So, what rack are you going to use?

I always sleep naked. Sure, the mattress store complained, but I’m the one buying the damn thing! The customer is always right.

Also not among those freedoms: freedom from criticism

My kind of guy.

I got them monthly for years, then didn’t get them for around 6 months. A few months ago they started up again.

The Kroger app is similar. I just forget to use it, for some unknown reason.

I’m a big believer in backups, contingency plans, and emergency funds. Bad things - minor or major - will happen, so I want to reduce the impact on my family.