Well that’s what happens when you try to get the same guy for your 90th anniversary gala that you had for your grand opening ceremonies.

You certainly can, although it would make you a hypocrite.

Criticizing Real Americans™ is treasonous. Criticizing liberals and black people is just telling it like it is.

Conservatives on big government: “I made this money with my own hard work, I didn’t need the government’s help.”

No they wouldn't. Not having the legal recourse to do something about your neighbor being a dick, doesn't mean the neighbor isn't still a dick.

Don’t do that. While his neighbors were being over dramatic, don’t pretend like you don’t understand why his trailer would be objectionable.

It is an integral part of the human experience.

That’s a couple of nice, vague theories, there, dude.

Of course, but I’m not wrong.

It bears repeating:

I want to move there now just to live among sane people.

The pocket square didn’t fall far from the missing white suit.

Manziel says he and Gordon are testing themselves and staying positive.