Ask Alex Reiger

Weird I haven’t even seen Infinity War and I still don’t care about this movie

“Now, Timmy, pretend I’m a burly attacker...”

A boom boom bap, bap a dabba dap dappa RIP

Storytime: One time I was at this minor league baseball game, and between innings “Crazy Train,” started up, but I guess the guy manning the controls changed his mind or something, because what played over the speakers was “All aboard! Ha!” And this goofball like five seats down from me said, “Wow, Ozzy’s getting…

[SPOILER ALERT] You’re going to die.

Oh, that’s right. Streaming is great for indie bands. They make so much money from their music now and there’s literally nothing stopping them from being the next Taylor Swift. Artists are calling the shots and it’s a brave new world. One look at the Billboard Top 100, which is definitely not made up of image-managed…

Yeah, that’s what I said, Italian-Americans.

If I didn’t know any better, I would almost venture to say the hugely rich and successful rapper with the sentient mannequin wife who can’t stop talking about himself and whose name is synonymous with genius among an entire generation lacks... empathy?

You’re playing fast and loose with the rules, here

Rotten tomatoes are bad for the sauce, or, as Italian-Americans call it, “gravy.”

This is true for music as well.

I am not a gay man, but every time I hear Martin Scorsese refer to a movie as a “picture,” I just want to kiss and hug him.

Sounds like those creditors have an ax to grind

No, HOLY SHIT!’s album doesn’t come out till June. #laughterthebestmedicine

Really excellent work, Randall Colburn.

Definitely the second best song titled “Cannonball” that I’ve ever heard.

Thanks, everybody. Quick followup: These movies are NOT based on a true story, is that right?

I don’t mean to sound like an idiot and I didn’t see Ant-Man and I don’t read comic books so I’m definitely not the audience for this, but what the hell did I just watch, at work, with the sound off? I thought Ant-Man was little but was strong like an ant, proportionally? So why is he so big in the trailer? And how…

Ah, but you’re forgetting the fifth stage, as expressed by Norville Rogers, which is: Experiencing identical consequences, host and guest combine to create a dual simulacrum. This is expressed in what is known as Shaggy’s Equation: Guest + Host = A G... G... G... Ghost!