Oh man, what I would do to this chick*

Nah, it’s more like Kalifornia

She, sir, has the boorish manners of a Dartmouthian!

MAKE AMERICA NOT FEEL THE NEED TO EXAMINE WHY THERE ARE SO MANY DEAD CHILDREN AGAdammit I need a bigger hat

I was not aware of that 9/11 joke. Now I feel like I should probably watch this movie, which is weird because the marketing campaign was relentless, at least in the media channels I watch. The looks on Holly Hunter’s face during the whole conversation are hilarious, too.

Opposition to what? The kid’s having too many reach schools?

A rather cheap deus ex machina makes everything OK at the last minute

Or the Eartha Kitt version!

Tatoo, how do we keep these prisoners from escaping?

...and they start fucking, yeah I totally hear you

“Did you ever stop to wonder about your actions? The price you’d have to pay if there was a reckoning? ...That reckoning is here.”

“Stick with me, Katie, and I promise you will never have to deal with another boner ever again!” - Tom Cruise

Nothing from Duel?

I would argue that Tin Men, Pushing Tin, and Tin Cup are better Indiana Jones movies than Crystal Skull.

I kind of liked that one about the elderly neighbor “sitting centurion” until I had to look up soupçon in this context to find he was using an older, practically outmoded definition of the word. Alliteration is so cheap—it’s like the salt of wit. And Penn screwed off the top of the shaker and dumped it onto his story.…

Yeah I don’t really get why some very placid observations about the need for a little more regulation on corporations is either college freshman-level superior or bunker-adjacent. That kind of thing can’t be said enough if you ask me, especially when the footage shows a recovering alcoholic literally surrounded by…

Good Lord I had such a crush on Khrystyne Haje

Obviously it was a PSA to show that smoking is not cool

LOL I was going to say that he looked more like Gollum, which I now know is a character that Andy Serkis played. That said, I was thinking of Gollum from the Rankin/Bass production of The Hobbit.

I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my graves watery.