You know what other Jerry was bad at negotiating? That’s right H

That’s one ugly Moscow mule

I’m a Grown Ass Man: The Coming of Age of an American Proctologist by Dr. Butts

“It’s not racist, my heritage is about white QBs.”

They were arguing about Bernie Sanders

Ryan should be first ballot in the Dad Strength HOF

This is a pretty good point. JUST BE GAY DUDE! IT’S CALIFORNIA! Also, that would have helped his case against the socialite or whatever who accused of him of the sexual advances.

Unfortunately, the mole they planted within the Big 12 failed to produce anything save for a bit of blood when irritated

I can somewhat relate... I never shot a gun until I was 31. I don’t even think I ever shot a BB gun. That might not seem crazy if you live in Seattle (where I grew up) but it was mittens on dick insane to the people in AZ where I currently live.

People laughed and laughed about it until I finally tried it. I didn’t…

I assume Will Allen’s defense will be half-hearted and easily beat

Growing up in WA State, my buddy and I used to get drunk and chop down huge evergreens with a hand axe (super safe). Please tell your future kids that this is an unsafe and dangerous hobby.

just eat your cheese curds and pipe down

She said something nice about her winning Wimbledon

You double dare him, eh? What are you, 12?

*Alanis Morissette’s “Hand in My Pocket” comes on radio*

Spot on. Everyone drinks IPAs now, so hipsters hate them.

Pizza Port Ponto SIPA is my favorite Session IPA. Give it a try, Will.

Spot the ball

Cool. Fashion shaming women is cool and good, so we should do it with men now.

The Michelob name will always live on through the gimmicky, refrigerated piss that is Michelob Ultra.