Failed wizzys and slow colons all over Deadspin today. Just like visiting Grandpa.

Tom Ley's name is ironic as he is below average under the sheets.

Seeing as she was Canadian, she was probably selfless waiving the flag in order to provide a gentile breeze and air circulation to her nearest patrons.

As an Arizonan, I have to agree with you. So is being an idiot. No shortage of idiots/wackos here.

It is un exercise in futility

Maybe put something up their butt? I don't know might need 24 hours to think about this one.

Answering for myself, I think if they touch it (even by accident) they should have their dick chopped off.

How do you pronounce "USA?" I've been pronouncing it "ewe-SAW". Is that right?

7th Grade Language Arts. Watched it on TV as well.

So if you were blind why would you be a racist?

So.... much... market....pene.....tration [cums over and over]

That's strange. Iran and Nigeria are normally at the top of the list of carefree, fun lovin' nations.

You must be popular at parties.

Pictured: a slowly depreciating asset, stack of money.

"Someone needs to take Sutter home."

This is a great idea for a picnic! Since their wines often have screw tops, there is no need for a corkscrew!

Ayew Good Men

If you don't get the money first you are never Ghana get the power.

Until he changes his name, are we cool with just calling Dan Snyder Chief Dumbfuck?

That's nothing. You can watch Antoine Walker clear a full rack in five minutes before he starts his shift as busboy at Tony Roma's.

Right, but where are all those people going to go? They have to go somewhere....