“Here, we see a server remove the packaging from a frozen cheesecake that arrived on truck this morning to be thawed in a cooler. And so begins and ends our tour of Obscene Selection of Cheesecakes.”

I screamed “Fuck you! I’m moving to France!”

I never thought about IKEA as a major step in a relationship...until I arrived at IKEA and realized the whole place was laid out exactly like the IKEA where my parents (and my partner’s parents) had taken us both shopping children. Both of us were struggling with Oedipal conflicts before we’d even gotten to the…

I spent the entirety of 8th and 9th grade wearing carpenter mom jeans and baggy t shirts because I was so embarrassed by how “fat” I was.

Imagine how much better the world would be if apology pizza and protest dancing were a thing.

think of it like a frat chapters, except less violent and more socially aware

God damn, Mark. I thought nothing could horrify me more than rosebud, but that fucking Pumps video did it.

I just remembered an even better story! I saw Nirvana in late Summer 1993. They’d booked a show at the Jackson County Fairgounds in Southern Oregon before they blew up big and were contractually on the hook to still do the show. Their contempt for having to be there was absolutely palpable. Bobcat Goldthwaite opened…

Kylie is not Tyga’s “new partner” in this scenario. The issue is that you do not introduce the people you are dating to your children until you know that person is going to be around for the long haul. It does a lot of harm to children, especially very young children, when someone who seems to love and care for them…

Yup apparently teaching him to say I love Kylie, if true that is fucked.

:/

I mean, real talk, it would make sense that they all lost touch with Uncle Joey. He wasn’t a relative, so after a while I’m sure Danny Tanner would’ve been like “Listen, dude, I’ve got three teenage girls in the house...You know this is weird, right? You gotta move out.”

Jamie Layton’s story reminds me of a famous story I heard when I was working at a regional theater festival.

Women are often “crazy” until it turns out they’re “stupid.”

This little bit of Hollywood history, be it true or too good to be true...

This story has been passed around for a looooong time. I applaud your sense of humor, but I don't think this happened to you IRL.

I just remembered a great one! Last month, my friend - who is the chillest, least confrontational, most mild-mannered person in the whole world - was visiting Israel and he ran into some German lady who was like, “Why can’t there just be peace?” My friend was all, “Yeah, totally” (my friend and I are both Jewish but…

your name and avatar are really doing a number on me

This happened to me once, back in seventh grade! I had put one in forgetting to remove the older one. The same EXACT stuff happened to me, the stench, the discharge. So my mother took me to the doctor, they thought maybe it was an infection so they gave me meds which just gave me a rash. So my mom said "you probably…