by the end of the month, elon will be delivering 5,000 submarines a week to the cave.

I’m gonna get a lot of flack for this but my take is Scarlett Johansson is conventionally attractive and a bonefide star, proven as a lead capable of carrying a movie?

Be real, how hard did you cum when you finished this one off?

“Let me just get in a Trump/MAGA comment on this completely unrelated topic.”

I’m no fan of Trump or his true believers.... but it’s a hat. A hat!

Can’t get in trouble if you are adding -er, -y or -s to a last name.

“And that was it. I swear on my mom and dad’s graves, there was nothing else to it.’’

nobody likes her anyway

Medium-rare, you heretic.

There is definitely more to this story than Mays is telling. While the whole food spitting thing is way beyond the pale (and really should be charged as some kind of assault), even the most bitter and jaded servers don’t just make a habit of arbitrarily asking cooks to spit in food. Someone needs to find the fired…

A big thumbs up to the dude with the Fresh Prince cosplay, but that has to be the easiest cosplay anyone’s ever done. A cap, sunglasses, t-shirt, and shorts. That’s it.

Nah, watching professional golfers fail is amazing, especially since it’s only once a year. If every tournament was like this it would suck, but making them look like me at my local muni is extremely satisfying for those of us who need a five iron to hit a shot the pros would use a pitching wedge on.

Not the first time, definitely won’t be the last.

This story could also be about Kevin Love

Coming into this year, Bryce Harper has only twice put up an OPS over .854 in six full seasons.

Dear Brazilians complaining about higher gas prices.


“Get the fuck over it”

Sincerly,

A Mexican that already went through a gas de-regulation and price liberalization that was required to save the state oil company since previous administrations abused it so much it didn’t have any infrastructure and ended up costing…

This may actually be the dumbest article I will read this year.

Whoa, simmer down Deep State. How is this different than a butt dial or your small kid mashing numbers on your land line? Just because the controls are voice activated rather than tactile doesn’t make it a privacy thing any more than the above examples are.

I love Deadspin and I am and will always be Team Deadspin, particularly when it comes to Barstool.

Fuck amazon. Toys r us about to lay off 30k employees because of them. Workers with good jobs that websites like this usually advocate for. Deadspin claims to be a friend of the worker and a voice of reason against big corporations. Yet you accept their sponsorship money when convenient for you? Pick a side, guys.

Fuck amazon. Toys r us about to lay off 30k employees because of them. Workers with good jobs that websites like…