That’s nothing. I use my toilet paper twice. After all, only one side gets nasty at a time.

goddamn onions.

Books. You need to be writing Books.

All Jalopnik product news articles should be exactly like this from now on.

Eh calling CP. 200k+ miles, a press car, and subwoofer in the footwell.

Neutral: Would You Buy A New Harley If You Had The Money?

What do you suppose inspired it?

At the hearing, the Sun reports, Hamilton was asked by the judge: “Why do you insist on playing your stereo so loud?”

ah, Quebec. Twice the attitude of France and 1/2 the culture.

When I was a kid, I used to wonder, “What does ESPN stand for?”

The Quicker Fucker Upper

These tests do not accurately reflect the real-world usage of an Alfa-Romeo. A rear-impact from the breakdown lane is by-far the most likely crash for a Giulia owner.

Which car should I buy?

You can only offer so much before the price has to climb. I mean, they can’t take a loss, and they don’t have a parts bin like GM to just throw something together. You get a lot out of a top-trim Optima for $27k, no harm in this costing a bit more.

This is what the $6,800 worth of damage looked like:

Ben Roethlisberger introduced the players’ three choices

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Acura.

The other day sitting near me at a restaurant a guy got up to use the bathroom or something. I saw his fries were getting cold and not worth saving, so I threw them on the floor. Outside on the patio the tables there were rusted, so I smashed them. Then walking home, this little kid had an ice cream but it was…

GTI Sport or base WRX is the answer here.

Later, at the Eagles practice facility: "I will apologize to every nigger here."