So wait, she's going to do to them, what they've been doing so far this season? Seems odd.

my wife just informed me"very nsfw" also applies to the kitchen table

Billy:

I saw Insane Masturbatory Rampage open for Slayer in '92.

Well, if you want to get super-pedantic, he went on an insane rampage, was apprehended, and then masturbated, so the rampage itself was not masturbatory at all according to the reports.

"What are you gonna do tonight, Stef?"

Billy, I hate to nitpick, but I have a problem with the headline. The phrase "insane, masturbatory rampage" should be "insane masturbatory rampage." You shouldn't use a comma when the last adjective outranks its predecessor and is an integral part of the noun phrase. In this case, the rampage is not both insane…

Again, Welker was out performed by someone younger.

Sortland had a blanket, a cell phone and a box of Wheat Thins with him.

Ugh. True story: in 2008 or 2009 I was living/working in Santa Monica, CA. I was walking somewhere (home, a bar, I don't recall.) These two dudes asked me where some bar was. I didn't know. (Turns out it was a shitty bar, a few blocks away. It wasn't one of the roughly 2,185 local bars I knew. There were a lot of…

"One attendee climbed off the boat briefly and yelled: “I’ll see you in hell, feminists ... Long live men.”"

DO NOT QUESTION MY FEMINIST MATH SIR OR MADAM

I actually feel sorry for these guys. The more they get into this delusional stuff, the more unlikely it is that they'll ever make those human connections they desperately crave, which means the more attracted they'll be the bitter and delusional stuff, which means it will only be harder to make those human…

Blanc is an enormous dickhead, even by the standards of the pickup artist field, a field that's crowded with dickheads, a field that is really more dick than field.

In case any of the victims of the crimes I committed to go to prison are reading this, allow me to apologize and assure you that I am not ignorant of the damage I caused. I've been robbed myself; I know it is scary. You could not have known how unwilling I was to hurt anyone and it pains me to think that I even scared…

Yes, I saw/noticed that. I'm still having trouble reconciling "pacifist" with armed robber.

He's a junkie and convicted violent felon. Labeling himself a "pacifist" is just ridiculous, and asynchronous. Pacifists, by definition, do not arm themselves in the first place...and apologizing to people as he commits armed…

On Tuesday, while waiting as my tattoo artist prepped her station before inking me, a white man leaving the parlor/gallery with his girlfriend came up behind me and ran his hands through my afro.

I knew 9/11 was 45 inside jobs packed into 1!

She is absolutely disgusting. I mean, there wasn't even any peanut butter on it.