I knew it.

Counterpoint: The throat is made of soft tissue, and it wouldn't take too much force to throw one through a dude's throat.

Wow. That just looks… bad.

Three O'Clock High ends with the kid using brass knuckles, too.

You're gonna mention that this is like Three O'Clock High, but not point out the obvious resemblance to Friday?

Throw the book at him…

I'd be curious to see her clickthrough rate. I'd theorize that she may actually be doing more harm than good to her cause.

Where's your passive-aggressive neighborhood Spider-Man™ when you need him?

So, how does this fake porn work?

I can totally buy that. As cool of a guy as Keanu is, I think John Wick would be better with Liev as the lead.

It's super weird. His delivery of most of the lines in the movie, and the awkwardness of his body language in general doesn't jibe well with the rest of the film. When he's fighting, it all works. As soon as he stops, it doesn't come together quite so well.

Someone called for a wedgie?

Oh, man. Halleujah. Finally a win for humanity for once.

You can't kill the pan flute that easily, son.

I will never knowingly click on a link that leads to Tyler the Creator.

Don't kick printers toes out.

I think it was honestly the Lonely Island stuff that made me remember that the dude had some pipes on him. The songs on that album are funny, but every other singer on that album is using autotune just to get somewhere near what he can accomplish naturally.

Counterpoint, your take is bad, and you should feel bad.

Crackers, 2-ply paper lunch bag, 3 minutes of catharsis.

The common running joke here in California is that if any of the restaurants on a pier were to sink, the servers would all just float to safety.