Long time reader, infrequent commenter. I just wanna say that Garrett’s posts on Jezebel have made me laugh in a way I used to laugh while reading posts by Caity Weaver. No tea, no shade: G is funnnnnyy. Awesome wit, GS.

of course he did.

But see this isn’t a weird thing, this is a thing that ends relationships. Super normal!

I love making big long sonorous burps. Ripping out a long, loud one from the depths gives me a real sense of satisfaction & dare I say- pride?

I do this too! But (and I apologize in advance for potentially adding another step to your routine) before I use my towel[s] to pick up stray towels, I wipe down the counter / sink area. Additional fresh towels are employed if there’s significant puddle action. Because WHO AMONG US has not known the fury of leaning…

I pick up public bathrooms. Especially airplane ones. I use my clean paper towel to wipe down the counter, then use the paper towel to pick up any paper towels on the floor, then push the paper towels down in the trash can so it’s not overflowing. I hate seeing messy public bathrooms. We should be perfectly capable of…

For a second, I thought the Saltines were standing up and you ate them like a line of dominos.

After slathering my hands with lotion and putting on my Borghese conditioning gloves, I like to take a stack of Saltines, layer them with grape jelly, and eat them standing up at the kitchen sink.

Man, black cats are the best. I appreciate any opportunity to share my beautiful little gremlin with the world. Heres Dahlia...she doesn’t much care for football but would make a killer table tennis player.

As a Gawker refugee who decamped to Deadspin despite only a passing interest in sports, this content speaks to me. Thank you. 

Fuck off, Don.

The reason Trump and Republicans in general get away with similar or worse behavior is because their base regards breaking rules as the province of the White Man. Every time Trump sticks his finger in the eye of another rule his authoritarian Deplorable base LOVES it, because it reaffirms their feelings of their own Wh…

Because nothing can enrage a man more than a woman who chooses to have sex with whomever she pleases because that means those men aren’t getting laid.

She doesn’t care, do you?

But seriously, she doesn’t care. The congress can take him out of office, but they won’t be able to clean out his bank account. His cult will continue to keep him afloat no matter the results of the impeachment, or even the next election. He still gets that sweet POTUS salary for the rest of…

Agree. That and she can no longer move her face due to her “kidney” operation.

I was about to say, no wonder Leslie Knope loves waffles so much...

As an EY alum who was denied a promotion because I was pregnant, then laid off six months to the day after returning from maternity leave, this is the least surprising thing I have ever seen.

I’ve...had this friend? I’m so embarrassed now that we were ever “friends.”

Mid-December, 2002. I was having a shitty month. I was broke and stressed and miserable and trying to give my kid a Christmas and I was supposed to be leading my UU Church’s Winter Solstice service but I’d flaked out because my life was a disaster. Walked in to the sanctuary and OH DAMN WHO IS THAT GUY? The hottest…

I don’t know if this counts. My husband and I met on match.com and hit it off right away. A cute geologist? Sign me up! The meet cute part was, the first day I signed up he messaged me, or winked, or whatever it was, and he had decided that it was going to be his last day trying match if he didn’t get any responses.…