So this is how those “paraben-free” soaps are made.

In my mind. ;-)

A few months ago, I spent several hours over several days tracking down and reporting a fake “Go Fund Me” account where people were asking for money to treat their child’s cancer. They would take testimonials from cancer treatment centers and use them as their own testimonials, changing the words to make is read like…

THAT’S RACIST! (I don’t know how to load animated gifs.)

No, it will be a hologram. You have to pay the extra 76 Chinese yuan for the movie to actually move and hit 4D.

Really? I’m leaving iOS right now and switching over to Android. Thank you for saving me from certain death! (What I’m trying to tell you is that there are about 3,456 things in life that are more important than trolling about iOS vs. Android. You should try them sometime.)

There’s a blog post by Dr. Jen Gunter, an OB/GYN, on a paper that Carson co-wrote on research that involved aborted fetal tissue. The hypocrisy of all of them is astounding.

Would it be cruel and unusual to sentence someone who kicks a person while they are down to they themselves be kicked, repeatedly, for a few seconds? Then a couple of years in jail?

He doesn’t look like he’s done that before at all, does he?

There’s a commercial on Sirius XM that starts with “Hey, Sirius listeners!” and it always triggers Siri if I have the phone plugged in. Always, no matter the sound level or noise off the road.

You’re right. I just contacted my attorney to see if we can file papers on her for scaring me out of ever driving again.

Probably civil, though. Someone has to pay the damage she caused. Either her insurance company pays and sues her to get back the cash or she gets sued and has to pay out of pocket.

Not a lawyer, nor a doctor.

Meh. They’ll just file a lawsuit before a Texas judge and have it all thrown out. Texas loves football.

Show me how the Chinese plan to move millions of soldiers over water and then I’ll start worrying about their military might. Missiles? Sure. Planes? Whatever. If you can’t deploy your boots on the ground, all of that is for nothing.

I graduated from a high school in Texas (El Paso) back in 1995. I had an exchange with a teacher that went kind of like this:

I remember that “Start” commercial airing late at night during the Tonight Show. I was graduating high school that year and thought of what I’d be able to do with Windows 95 at college. (My high school had all macs for us to learn on.)

Traffic stops are okay. We can all drive by and see that you’re stopped. Heck, we can stop and record the stops ourselves. For going into homes? Not so much.

Also, “technically guilty of distribution of child pornography”? You lost me on that one. Have you seen all those parents posting pictures of kids in the bath? Is…

Don’t worry, your job is safe. Anyone who uses that many periods as ellipses points clearly has no future as a writer... I hope.

Sort of gives “ultimate frisbee” a whole new meaning, doesn’t it?

I knew you’d comment on this. Like a fly to rotting flesh, you and “Super Jesus.”