I guess you'd have to look at it from the driver's perspective and be in a state where you couldn't back into a spot. ;-)

Bring it.

We're talking soccer, dude. We're not talking about feeding children or distributing vaccines. It's a dumb, first-world problem to get upset over a form of entertainment. It's just a goddamned game.

Nebuchadnezzar? The ship from the Matrix?

(Yeah, yeah, I know who he was.)

If this scares you, then I suggest you don't talk to anyone who has worked or currently works at USAMRIID. You won't sleep ever again, Robert.

Such a horrible accident is "awesome"? Well, I guess you're not posting beheading videos... Yet.

At a Fatburger? Really? That's where famous people go now? T.I. has no street cred anymore as far as I'm concerned.

If there was ever a case for genetically-modified bees...

What if we, humans, are the result of another intelligence creating us? And then we killed it not by actually killing it but by making it irrelevant in our lives. I can see an AI seeing us as ants, not worth its time and moving on and off this rock in search of its intellectual equal.

What they should have is an item count cop. I swear... Saying, "Oh, I didn't see that," is no excuse. Imagine if I used that line to get out of a traffic ticket.

No, but the amount of cash he's made from that "gut feeling" he had about MMR and autism is enough to make it a fair comparison. The mansion he's living in in Texas is ridiculous.

And not have to wait at Walmart because someone is on the express line with about 673 items? No, thanks!

Still not as bad as what Andrew Wakefield did.

What if... Hear me out... What if these signals actually traveled here from a far away place via a worm hole that we can use to travel back to that place? Too bad our space program has been pretty much mothballed.

A better crime would have been to give the entire world amnesia, making us all start from scratch. Mind you, it would be like the amnesia in the movies, where we still remember how to speak, to keep our clothes on, ride a bike, drive a car... We just wouldn't remember any of the past, or anything leading up to the…

Or, you know, someone in a jet at a higher altitude dropped a big one. #Poop

Only if they're going to fight somewhere where there is an atmosphere. Hashtag aerodynamics.

I can't get over Channing's asymmetrical face. It distracts me from everything else. I guess it's my brain trying to make sense of what it's seeing... And this is all not in a good way.

I puked.

Maybe. Has anyone overlaid these with the UFO and Sasquatch sightings? We may be on to something here.