Sorry- didn’t mean it as a brag, I just read this and thought, “how is this new?” Anyways, if Trump is elected I’ll open my cabin to American refugees, but they have to chop the firewood and fetch the beer. Deal?

Fire the hot take cannon. This one is fucking sizzling.

Sorry, I should clarify, in no way is throwing a beer can reasonable or acceptable.

Seriously though, who brings a baby to a game?

I used to comment regularly on Jezebel for years (under a different name) and stopped because of the feeling the author describes when someone she assumed would be an ally made her feel unwelcome.

Look, I love babies. I like moms (some of them). But if I was invited to speak in from of hundreds of people, do a book signing, and participate in an intense professional conference, I’d arrange for child care for the day. No, you can’t bring your baby to work, sorry. That includes adjunct teaching. Advocate for…

Between this and her rape comments, it’s beginning to seem like she doesn’t like womankind very much. And also, seriously lacking in critical thinking skills.

When you feel the need to name the most popular show that features a black woman to make the point that plenty of roles exist for black women, you’re missing the point.

This girl sang the song of my people. Fly free, you barefooted and much more comfortable angel.

but, uh, isn’t her Slutwalk becoming part of her brand just a teensy bit problematic?

I feel you. I'm 31 and still holding out hope that life will eventually stop imitating high school.

Don’t even worry, you are a beautiful flower. I love what you did with your bedroom furniture. Just leave the blinds open at night.

Because the number one thing I want coworkers and potential employers to see when they google me is “She could have called back after that one night stand... Bitch didn’t even let me spend the night... Sorry for the drunk post.”

God, it must really be awful for those creators to have a bunch of people on the internet making assumptions about their intentions and criticizing them publicly. Good thing it’s only on twitter though, imagine if there was a whole app, just for that!

When a company files bankruptcy, it will probably go out of business soon afterwards. Remember Circuit City? They filed bankruptcy and vanished like fart in the wind.

It’s not my fault that ruining jokes happens to be my super power.

THANKS CAPTAIN JOKE RUINER