But at the same time, I shouldn't also be looking at a movie called Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and having it feel like every other action setpiece, cg-heavy flick to come out over the last 8 years. They've taken something unique and weird that could be fun and schlocky and made it slick and soulless, purely to prey…

I was a huge Turtles fan when I was a kid, but this movie does absolutely nothing for me on a nostalgic level. Even if the turtle designs didn't look awful, everything just seems so empty and perfunctory.

I like to think Dowd just averages the A's and D's in his name when he can't decide on a proper letter grade.

He'd also like to clarify that he's still not a Gayfish. No matter what those dastardly paparazzi might be saying.

Kanye walks dejectedly down an empty street after being mocked for thinking that celebrities deserve special treatment because they're so special.

True enough. It's just fun given how much vitriol came out of the reboot.

I think what amuses me most about Enterprise right now is that, despite all the hate, it's the only series that will remain in continuity for both the TV and Movie timelines, given that the branch off point is 20 years before Kirk is born. Scotty even name checks Archer in the first movie!

He really should get more roles. For me though, he shall always be Booster Gold on JLU.

Tom Everett Scott and Phil Buckman?

No no, they ended up having a song on a soundtrack for a much worse movie, "Mouth" for "An American Werewolf in Paris".

I deploy the "celebrate the independence of your nation by blowing up a small part of it." line every Fourth of July.

Nick.com's video player is awful. I can't think of a better way to encourage younger viewers to start pirating.

Yep, two things. Slightly different.
That he directed People Like Us, and they said "That's our Mummy director!", versus
"Hey, we should hire the guy who wrote the Amazing Spider-Man films to direct our Mummy reboot.He can make us money!"
"But, has he directed anything?"
"Yeah! A movie starring Kirk 2.0. See! He IS a…

What would be more disconcerting: That they selected him because he directed People Like Us, or they used said directing of People Like Us to justify hiring the guy who wrote the Amazing Spider-Man Movies?

What? Again? That guy's got stamina!

9) He'll be an Atheist, of course, spouting stupid strawman arguments. He'll think God is lame.
10) Rock instrumentals will be played during his partying days to show how edgy he is. He will drink out of a red solo cup, but no actual booze will be shown.

The only cold, distant father figure that women should be allowed to be dominated by is THE LORD.

Mary Magdalene: “You think you’re an angel. You’re just like everybody.”

With music by Faith + 1!
"I need you in my life, Jesus.
I can't live without you, Jesus
And I just want to feel you deep inside me, Jesus."

There's probably an alternate earth where it was a huge, game-changing ratings success. This is also probably the earth with a blue Golden Gate Bridge.