Oh, that’s easy. It’s because they’re like 5 hours ahead.

She was so drunk she made it that whole way in the wrong lane.

The only photos of Michelle we have rights to are of her alongside Patton. So it was either a close, awkward crop, or something resembling the one I used, which I think is actually sort of sweet—especially because he has continued her work.

I have had people try to bring drinks without lids into my car and I will be the killjoy and tell you to put a friggin’ lid on it, finish it or walk.

I’ve been on Jalopnik for a while now, so I know that this is a clear case of the tire pressure being off by less than a PSI.

pretty sure the quickest way was always through the park

Nah man, he’ll get the mulch delivered. Don’t want to mess up the bed!

They’re not random. They’re FOCUSED.

+1 for global entry. It’s just $15 more and worth it even if you only travel a few times a year.

Probably makes more sense to spend $15 more and get Global Entry. Or if you can get Nexus, that’s even cheaper, while offering both Precheck and border crossing improvements.

That’s far too reasonable. If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that you need to toss a passenger out the window every so often or you’ll never be respected.

Just spend the $20/yr (in 5-year increments) to get PreCheck. Then security is fundamentally the same as 9/10/01. My airline credit card even credits me the $100 every five years.

Why do we need the TSA?

Yep.

As long as they come with three sea shells, I’m fine with that.

We always hear about these Tesla crashes but have people died using Mercedes or Volvo or someone else’s semi-autonomous system?

Okay John.

When will Musky launch a long roof? Does it seem long roofable? Does the back attract stickers like a Subaru? How long did it take to get used to the center tablet? How hard is the dash to clean after a post king taco, full throttle launch? Will it baby? Will it cure my midlife crisis, what about tinnitus? Does it…