It's total schadenfreude, but I do kinda like that the AV Club has admit through gritted teeth that Suicide Squad is an Oscar Winner. I didn't even like it that much, but MAN did AVC have a weird, obnoxious grudge over the summer about the movie's very existence. They hated it before it came out. They hated it after…

You have no idea how badly The Jaunt affected a friend of mine. She always insisted The Jaunt was one of the most disturbing stories she ever read. Personally, Survivor Type always got me worse. That, and Everything's Eventual.

"Okay, so we START in Room 237! A ghost is in the bathtub! Bah! So Scary! (Slime or something is covering her nipples to give us a sweet pg13) The ghost says, "Cuuujooo!" for some reason. No one will care, it's a reference! So the hero finds Cujo! The dog is attacking a car, but that car is filled with bad guys! Let's…

I love the show, but it really is pretty 2 note. For a long, long time now they've repeated the same 2 stories of "Barry has to go even..FASTER than he thought possible!!" and "Barry is dick who lies and lies to people he loves about info he has." That's seriously the entire series so far. "Running FASTER will always…

Eh, that mostly just means I was nostalgic for the Onion in print form. If they ran those kinds of ads back in the day, I was probably annoyed by them, too. They were always obnoxious. It's not the paper or website's fault—they need to make their money where they can. I'm annoyed with the shallow company that thinks…

Can't say I'm disappointed. For years and years now, the Austin Chronicle (a very sincere, generally reputable weekly paper in Austin) has run ads that were…a bit less than tasteful for American Apparel. Sure, the Chronicle also has ads for strip clubs and escort services in the back pages…but somehow, the AA ads…

This was the classic kind of carpet bomb ad campaign that quickly turned me from Intrigued to Enraged. From "Huh, that's a weird take on Archie…" to "Oh my effin' GOD, SHUT UP about your weird take on Archie!" For months and months now, so many commercial breaks have started with, "I…paint the pictures…!" Even on…

I was really on board with this one right up until the (first) big twist at the end. Even though the series does this kind of thing all the time, this time I wasn't okay with the whole entire thing being some huge manipulation. Sherlock was apparently juggling deceiving not just Watson, but Mrs. Hudson, Mycroft,…

I'm calling it now, chips on the table…there will a sequence on an ice planet, there will be some kind of slick updated Walkers, and, most of all, Luke will absolutely, without a doubt, utter the words, "I am your father!" to someone or other. Probably Rey. Who has a decent chance of also losing a hand.

Oh Joel McHale…what happened? You were the main character of the one of the geekiest, most intelligent shows ever…and now I have to see you as the spearhead of this impossibly terrible, laugh-track driven schlock that was probably greenlit by a bored executive clicking "Eh, sure, I guess," on a premise that simply…

While the in-story intrigue rages on, I bet the real world technical drama will continue as well. They couldn't get things quite right when the series was all on the same level of console! I first played the series as a trilogy pack for PS3, only to have the first game freeze solid at the last possible moment between…

Yeah, actually, a little. Like Catholicism four hundred years ago, though, when 90% of adherents were illiterate and had little or no choice. Most people can read these days, and can choose their church. There's no good excuse for it anymore.

If you aren't sure whether or not Scientology is a scam, then go ahead and read their texts. Or rather, try to. Most city libraries have a full set, taking up about two solid feet of shelf space. Start at page one of the first book and try to make any sense of any it…it's impossible. It's dense, rambling, nonsensical…

Poor Ubisoft. They try so damn hard to be serious story-tellers, they really do. They even succeed, a little bit. Far Cry 3 and 4 had pretty great premises and a some wildly creative narrative sequences that were squandered by a lame White Savior protagonist and utterly meaningless decision-branches, respectively. And…

Louie Anderson is alive? I'm not being snarky or sarcastic here…it's just, he was a contemporary with the likes of John Candy and Chris Farley. I guess I just assumed. Well. Good for your, Louie!

I've been catching up on these games recently. They're very cool for being the rare bit of genuine historical fiction in gaming, dedicated to real places, peoples, and historical events in our actual world. But man are the stories utterly bonkers. All-powerful Templars, and supreme ancient races, and preventing the…

Try Margaret Atwood's MaddAddam novels if your're really interested in the subject of genetic engineering run amok. Modified pigs that grow crops of human organs, customized pets that seem cute but rend havoc on the ecosystem, artificial ultra diseases manufactured for war and sabotage…It's very plausible stuff, which…

…And somewhere in Europe, Bernardo Bertolucci and Roman Polanski are having brunch. Bertolucci, "…and so actually molesting that woman was the only way to express my art! It had to be done, you see." Polanski, "Yes, yes, of course! It was your right as a filmmaker! It's a bit like the time I drugged a small girl and…

….second spoiler by default in recent weeks! I have The Last of Us, but haven't finished it….and now know that Ellie survives (when I was sure she was doomed). Much, much worse, though, has been the commercials for Dishonored 2, which blatantly reveal that the Empress is both alive and the real the badguy. I just…

So Solid Snake is David, Naked Snake is John, and plain ol' Snake is…Robert? Do various agencies across the multiverse just always assign the codename 'Snake' to whichever agent has the blandest name?