i.......do not understand?

damned if mingi's baritone doesn't make me feel some kinda way

is there any way i could get a quick call in with grandfather egg and offer to not work at any place he would like me to not work? i would happily accept a quarter of a billion dollars to not work at the place of his choice. 

Anyway, if the gymnastics dictionary is in need of any new moves, might I recommend the Fishbein? It involves sitting in bed watching Big Mouth for six hours straight and I am very good at it.

absoGODDDAMNlutely yes, niall. 

so we’re just not worrying about the people on mobile that can’t see any instagram links because kinja sucks, then. we’ve just decided not to do hyperlinks?

this shoe is visibly, aurally, tangibly...whatever the adverbs are for smell and taste-ly Not Ok.

i wonder if the dancers have the right to refuse a certain partner, or if they’re told what’s what and cannot argue. does lindsay think that he’s a very fine people, or is she just doing what’s ordered so she can pay her bills?

i mean. relationships have been staged for publicity since the beginning of publicity. at this point, when a publicist comes up with a unique idea to keep the presses printing, they deserve a big ass holiday bonus.

ah yes. i have just one degree in the same, which is the only reason i’ve ever read it. i feel your pain. 

but why have you read moby dick several times?

please please let this be trump’s “tax evasion” mistake a la capone, where it’s not even a little bit what he should go to prison for, but it’s the law he broke that they can be positive he will go to prison for. please please please please.

the fashion industry never faces any consequences, why on earth would they ever learn?

doesn’t it seem painful? your four other piggies would be all squished and then the...cutout bit would cut right in to the space between them and the big one. and both of the model’s big toes are hanging off the end?

Worse, Post Malone revealed what happens backstage at his concerts: “We just eat gummy bears and Cheetos and play beer pong. I’m also obsessed with the revelation that Ava Phillipe stole Olivia Jade’s job as an Amazon dorm room ambassador.

so. how do you find a therapist? the thing that is stopping me from is that i can’t deal with the idea of just having to have a bunch of first sessions where i talk through my whole deal and then it turns out we don’t click and then i have to do it all over again. do i just suck it up and start on it?

wow, imagine having the balls to say that heidi fucking klum needs to hit the gym.

huge blink-182 fan, past and present, and holyyyyyyyyyyyyy shit did tom fall off the deep end.

you know how they used to paint portraits to send to future spouses in instances where the betrothed had never met? and like, the artist needed to make the portrait look good because they're selling this person but also it needs to resemble the person, which was quite the conundrum in several cases of various european…

DONE THANK YOU