listen, miles teller, if that's your real name and not a stage name for your blues player persona: i feel you that NYU probably cost you a pretty penny. but to be so flippant "oh i totally could pay them off but my wealth manager says 'meh'" makes me want to

i am very thankful to have learned the phrase "sui generis" from this piece.

nononononononononononono this cannot be happening this is not happening everything is fine EVERYTHING IS FINE

he's perfect in every way, including face symmetry.

Tonight I've rented a party bus and 19 of my dearest friends and I are going to paint the town red in celebration of my 29th! The theme of the bus is hats and I have procured a large yellow sunhat with my monogram in hot pink. I am pumped! <every hat emoji and also some wigs because those are allowed, too>

it's good how much appreciation zayn's hair is getting. we need to never stop talking about zayn's hair.

hahahahahaha "pay attention" you said

tweet beat gets me every time!!

i cannot take credit for that portmanteau; it goes to the incomparable adultosaur. but i do know that it's the love i will spend my whole life looking to emulate.

UGH SORRY i am having #kinjaproblems so i may have replied to you 487 times.

he is ALSO aging extremely well.

you do not need help you need to share those pics.

IS IT CREEPY if i go find you one twitter because I AM NOT OKAY

growl. he is ALSO aging extremely well.

you are correct. zayn's hottness is eternal.

here is another favorite, though it is not ZAYN specific.

HOW IS HE SO UNGODLY ATTRACTIVE WHEN LAUGHING LIKE A MANIAC? SCIENCE. EXPLAIN. THIS. PLEASE.

so this was him laughing at all the girls who were like