Nothing screams cocaine and three-martini lunch like the DMC DeLorean.

With a nose bra.  One that is very dark and very much covers the entire half-exposed grille disaster.

I know this may not be the point, but the interior! Looks like it was ripped straight out of the Malibu...

My 2015 Camry not only has the triple turn signal, but you can change HOW MANY blinks it performs when touching the stalk in the infotainment options menu. Fancy.

All of the recently relaunched cars that were hot in the 90's: Acura Integra, Acura NSX, Toyota Supra, Nissan Z. They were never going to live up to the rose-tinted glasses that Gen-Xers and Millennials had for the originals. 

“its overall shape has always seemed... off”

1995 Dodge Neon. The ignition lock never worked, despite being replaced three times at the dealer. This resulted in the key being stuck in the ignition permanently. You could still start and turn the car off, the key just didn’t come out. So, I had to carry around the spare key to lock and unlock the doors. Not like…

Does Ford even like this car? Does anybody?! I feel like they just shoehorned in the EcoSport to have something for the small vehicle segment until they could release the much better (and more suited to the American market) Maverick.

Any that have long stretches of highway with nary a rest stop, gas station, or fast food establishment in sight when toting a van full of little kids cross-country to a beach “vacation” that is really only fun for them. In a previous post I mentioned that a good road trip music choice to prevent mutiny in this…

Minivans. All of them. Soccer practice and Costco runs all week, overlanding all weekend.

Toyotas and their propensity for “unintended acceleration” that was a thing about a decade ago. While it was proven a myth, it unfortunately happened too late to prevent the litany of lawsuits and recalls.

Tesla Model S. Sure, it was exciting...A DECADE AGO. I feel like it’s Groundhog Day every time I see one. Been there...seen that...

Subscription-based services, of course! But I’m not talking about the kind where I have to enable cruise control through a credit card-linked infotainment system. No, I want an old-school coin slot on my dash like an arcade game from the 80’s: “Please insert $0.25 for 10 minutes of air conditioning, or 25 minutes for…

This. It could also function as a hub to buy and sell starships that are effected by the system’s economy, like a Galactic Trade Terminal, but for ships! Plus, it would be something else to spend credits/nanites/tainted metal/quicksilver/etc. on.

Ferrari Purosangue, for being the final domino to fall. Pour one out for the last bastion of childhood nostalgia as the prancing horse succumbs to the oppressive reality of SUVs.

The REAL Level 5 Fully Autonomous Vehicle: Shuttle bus at the old folks home. My 2015 Camry should last until my kid takes the keys from me when I’m senile and unsafe to drive, at which point I get to be chauffeured to the grocery store and Cracker Barrel at 9:00 am on weekdays. 

Paying it off.  The best car is the one you, and not the bank, owns.

Honda S2000 (1st gen). That thing handled like it was on rails and screamed like a banshee when it approached the 9k RPM redline. It might not have been the fastest car on the block, but smiles and giggles were guaranteed.

If you’re taking the freak show on the road (traveling with small kids): Disney movie soundtracks, if you are interested in preventing mutiny.

Funny how the Mitsu Mirage went from being poster child for a ‘penalty box’ to the darling of affordable, underrated cars.