God forbid you get compared to a game designed by a polio survivor for children inflicted with polio that sells roughly a million copies a year. 

Lots of words just to say Cavs win.

What advantages does this driving school have over say...a train. which I can also afford?

I think it’s reasonable that any of 4-5 players could win MVP and they all have strong cases. Having the take of Westbrook and only Westbrook is like challenging a professional MMA fighter and then deleting your tweets that made you look like a prick.

This was the first paragraph in his column:

The size of this sentence is the same as a Solstice trunk space.

I had a turbo Solstice and a Nissan Sentra. The Sentra was the better car.

Is Phil Jackson auditioning for an episode of The Blacklist?

No, because unlike some, I have The Ethnics.

You mean the Wigsphere.

It does with steaks.

A lady had sex with a dog? Was it this lady?

I thought you were joking and then I actually found the Deadspin article that confirmed it.

Doesn’t Marchman live in Philly? For the first time ever, I approve of the NFL fucking over a city.

“If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you’re the asshole.”

It’s amazing that you can type all of this out and fuck your sister at the same time.

He’s the hero the internet NEEDS, but not the one it DESERVES 

You are absolutely correct that this is a rule United requires for employee tickets. Everyone is also correct for giving United zero benefit of the doubt because they are a shit hole of a company. 

Except Pawnee

We ain’t getting shot in the streets or pulled over by cops for zero reasons so I consider it soft in relative terms.