issues

I got fired from a hotel once so I called the health inspector on the hotel. They got a major fine (don't make the continental breakfast in the employee bathroom sink). In the end I think it would have just been cheaper to let me work there as an awful employee.

the less racist version

I think the point of the internet eluded you.

it can be two things

I once watched an entire season worth of American Crime in a day while at my desk at work. I work for a district attorney's office.

I know someone who did that at the grocery store she worked at. It was how she got the herpes.

I blame the Rand corporation in conjunction with the reverse vampires

Maybe he's looking for David's aunt Cassandra.

take that Simpsons

I've worked with women who were fatter.

Does anyone WANT to remember Daylights Savings Time? Damn farmers, Bilderberg group, trilateral commission, MK Ultra grumble grumble…

Someone set up Mallory and Oliver up on a blind date.

No I think you just sussed out the big bad for season 2.

Avery Brooks

I have to believe that Oliver would be close friends with Lucille Bluth from Arrested Development.

I think white women probably get that a lot.

He'll do that on a reality show next year. Who wants to be a despot?

best comeback ever

Dennis Reynolds: I got to tell you chuck. Your girlfriend looks like a bird.