The best comedy comes from being very funny and knowing how to compose good comedy and have timing

That’s what I’ve always found a little ghoulish about his hardcore fans. The ones that find some rational explanation for every off-his-tree thing he does.

Awards are meaningless. They’re utterly without meaning. They don’t give anyone any kind of cultural or financial boost and they should be ignored, full stop. And I say that knowing full well they’re historically racist as fuck. There is a gaping ocean of bigger fish to fry, though. Pretending they don’t exist is the…

Nah.

Uh, there’s one tray in the picture. The article refers to two *cups*.

Yeah, this isn’t debatable either. Fredo stands for every tragic, awful, fuck-up family member. On no planet has evoking his name ever had anything to do with race or ethnicity, at all.

I’m sorry, I am seeing this everywhere today and it is driving me crazy—Fredo is not an insult confined to use amongst or directed toward Italian Americans. At all.

But while it’s an obvious slight that would only be lobbed at someone who is Italian-American

I wake up every morning and one of my first three thoughts is a hope that I’ll open my phone and find he’s Elvis’d out on the toilet.

Not you though. You have an edgy schtick on the internet. Look out Obama! No longer, sir!

I think we can safely back that first number up all the way to “18" actually, but definitely.

Exactly. And like way fewer wanted Bernie Sanders and they’re still moaning about how it should have been him. People are incredibly dumb.

Imagine asking Mario Lopez a question and caring about the answer.

Warren/ Harris seems like the clear best route at the moment, to me. Nominating Biden or Bernie would be fucking malpractice.

Remember in high school when you would spend all night trying to get weed, and thoroughly struck out? You’d ask around and call and nobody had anything, and maybe even a couple times it seemed promising only to have the floor pulled out in the end?

Yup. Zzz-zap.

That’s right.

It kind of blows me away that no one ever talks about the time his nephew died because he jumped into Rivera’s pool when Mariano wasn’t home and it was... electrified. On purpose. To keep the dogs out.

Several places were named and assessed—a few hotels, a couple of office buildings, and even a secret private bathroom at the Banana Republic on Walnut Street—until one of us (I forgot who) had a great idea: There should be an app for this. Imagine how timely a Yelp-ish app for public toilets would be? Especially if…