Man I’d pay big money to see Allen play some street ball and get told what time it is.

My first car was a Renault LeCar. The second winter I owned it the blower motor went and replacements were not to be had (on a college student’s income at least). As fucking cold as I was driving that car around all winter, I never thought hooking up a propane burner in my car was a good idea.

I would love that. The first reporter who asks the question will get a terse “No” and then spontaneously burst into flames 30 seconds later.

Is Duke really this hard up for players that they have to keep playing this guy?

I’m a big fan of a play-by-play announcer dropping his voice an octave to say “He scores” rather than going into falsetto.

“If it fits, I sits.”

When I bought my Renault LeCar (the NA badge of the 5) and popped the hood, once I got over the novelty of the spare tire being in the enging compartment, I looked at the nest of hoses and wires and hoped the car never broke down.

Felt exactly the same way looking at that video. “Make America Great Again?” Fucker, it is great, and this is one of the reasons why.

So you are up to date on everything you’re responsible for outside of your computer, like your car, health, finances, chores, etc?

Correction - you *think* you have a great relationship with your family. Either that or your family are a bunch of doormats.

I just save time by kicking everyone in the nuts.

I bet you’re a hit at family gatherings.

Anyone know if Microsoft’s or Google’s privacy terms are better than Evernote’s?

The players also demanded that the bowl game be renamed to the “Joe Paterno Head In The Sand Bowl.”

You haven’t met any Penn State fans, apparently.

The Douche Cup.

Why would you even send a guy like this to review a Star Wars movie? That’s like sending a fine dining critic to review the neighborhood greasy spoon breakfast restaurant.

Right, just how everyone with a driver’s license doesn’t drink and drive.

As opposed to your new-ass standards of being a complete dick to everyone?

I would totally love it if the wording in the CBA was so poorly written that players could just submit an MRI of any arm, not just theirs. Like submit one of an orangutan or something.