Sorry, what did you say? I’m having trouble understanding you with Uber’s dick in your mouth.

Yup, I’m friggin’ crying. Not ashamed in the least.

The comments were particularly insightful, thanks to them, we now know that walking outside with a baby in a stroller is pretty foolish and irresponsible.

I’m not crying, you’re crying!

Raise your hand if you think the bear cares if you locked your doors?

At least they got the exhaust tips right this time.

You say that as if video evidence isn’t SUPER valuable in a situation like this.

It sounds like they faced it down, thought they were safe, and then were caught by surprise when it attacked. Hard to think clearly when you’re getting mauled.

no typo, I meant powder problem, as in cocaine up his nose in the former and probably some type of benzo or roofie crushed into powder and put into the drinks of his victims in the later

I would drive my Caprice to Taco Bell and pick up one of these sweet cup holders

Chevrolet Caprice, the Ginsu Knife of the automotive world!

We got cows.

Pfft. Call me when you have flying cows.

Print your comment out, frame it and put it on your wall. This way you can reflect back on how wrong you were in 10 years. No I’m not going to argue about it.

We all know someone who doesn’t know anything about anything, but wants you to think they know everything about everything. I had one of those in my ‘93 MR2 one day. He knew next to nothing about cars, but couldn’t stand being told anything without pretending that he already knew it.

I don’t much care to drink, so I ended up as the designated driver on more than one evening. One night my friends were being especially obnoxious while drunk and decided to play the “Kick the seat and then deny kicking the seat” game. So I decided to play the “I’m gonna kill us all game.”

“Hey honey, gotta work on the car today. This should only take me an hour or so, and I’ve got everything I need already.”

From my experience, if you wake up to an earthquake, sit there for a second to make sure it’s an earthquake, and then spring out of bed like, “F*&^, it’s an earthquake,” that makes it stop.

you’ve definitely struck a nerve for all us non-Hallmark daughters and sons- so thank you. As a survivor of a toxic mother I want to offer a way for people like me to take mother’s day and make it a day for us too- like Galentines- I go and visit a lovely lady at a care home who has early stage Alzheimer’s- it’s a…

When I have been tempted to make fun of a friend's goofy looking baby (she readily admits he's got the crazy eyes), I remind myself that the kid who played Neville Longbottom was supposed to be unfortunate looking. Then he grew up into this: