Reading this story and these comments, I can only conclude that the pregnant and famous can't win.

I've always pictured Steam like this.

Brilliant. And as with all good humor, it has a lot of truth to it. Especially on Jezebel. I KNOW YOU GUYS ARE THE BEYGENCY!

My buddy had just come back from his second tour in Iraq. We were stuck in heavy traffic on a raised drawbridge, so to pass the time, I ate his asshole like a leap-year kid with a birthday cake BECAUSE I AM A FUCKING PATRIOT.

Handcuffed in the back of a moving cop car.

Given your username, I feel like you saw this and went "MY MOMENT HAS ARRIVED."

If she has the abortion AND keeps the guy this will make my century.

Where did you get my yearbook photo

It's good to know this look makes EVERYONE look horrible.

I had to go with caffeine. Without coffee (which, let's be honest, is just a vehicle for caffeine), I can't be motivated to go to work. If I don't go to work, I don't get paid. If I don't get paid, then I can't buy weed. Thus, caffeine > weed.

Seriously, nobody has ever gone to war over Shrooms.

Bryan Adams

It's my robot test. If you can watch this episode without at LEAST tearing up, you're a robot. I feel like Battlestar Galactica could have saved itself a lot of grief and rooted out the cylons in an hour by using this test.

Jason Biggs is a fan favorite?

Also

THIS IS THE BEST VALENTINE'S DAY PRESENT EVAR!!!!

It is pretty sickening and sad at times.

Question: who else buys milk in bags?

I love whole milk. I grew up on it. In fact, I'm going to buy some now.

Maybe the key with eating the things you love is moderation and not being stupid?

OMG She looks like me! Now I have picture in my head of myself eating a diaper. NO!!!