You know what bugs me lately about all awards shows? They spend so much time on the "bits" that they forget to actually show the work they're honoring. I may be alone, but I love a good montage. I think one year before each "genre" they would show a montage of clips of all the nominated shows, and they used to show…

In my experience, people who are convinced that all their uggo friends are totes jelly of how "smokin'" they look while everyone is out together are 100000% delusional. And really, what a drain it must be on you to be so surrounded by fat slobs that you can't even complain about your nonexistent fatness without like,…

Right?? Williams had thirty plus years of incredible work and they chose to show him doing some unfunny racist jokes about Iranian women in burkas? What the actual fuck.

I always assumed they sued him mostly because of the travesty of justice that occurred in the criminal case, and also because, well, he clearly was rich and they wanted to hit him where it would hurt. I know he eventually did go bankrupt, but isn't it true that his scumbag attorneys kept the Goldman family from ever…

Legal eagles: I don't think this guy is rich, so what is the usual purpose in that sort of wrongful death suit? Since he's being punished criminally, what do they hope to gain? I am not blaming them for wanting to punish and punish and punish some more, I just wonder what it is in it for the grieving family to put…

Welp, there is that Florida lady who shot blindly into the dark when she heard a noise while babysitting her grandchildren and shot her 7 year old grandson. No charges, not even child endangerment. I will never understand how she didn't get at least some sort of misdemeanor for that. Thank god the kid is expected to…

Yep. As I watched the video I was like, I really hate to be the Debbie Downer here but the cat is clearly extremely petrified. Cats don't pant.

There's lots of things that are just fine about Lena Dunham—but around here it's considered uncool to think of her as anything other than a privileged racist who is terrible in 1,000 ways.

It seems every single post on Jez or Gawker mentioning her is full-up of people who can't stand her, so I would wager that no, no you are not the only one.

Right there with you. Just read the red carpet post and when I got to "Juicy J" in this one I got highly confused and said, out loud, in the style of my mother, "I thought her name was 'Jessie J'?"

That is so upsetting.

Private Eyes Are Weight Watching You!

How is this not the first—and only—comment?

I was gonna say—the rumor has always been that OJ is her dad, but we should also be looking into the possibility that Tyra is her secret sister!

Dude, my argument is valid. I don't need sour grapes—I've been plenty successful in life. But acting as if inheriting a successful business is NOT having a leg up in life? Sorry, that's just inaccurate.

Uh huh. So, which part did I get wrong? If my dad owned, say, a large hardware store and made a really good living running it, and I went to school and worked in the store and learned the business and then inherited it when he died and started making a really good living myself, how is that NOT having a leg up in…

Eh, most of my friends are thin, probably ranging from size 2 thru 8/10 and all of them have stuff from Old Navy. Probably harder for the 0-4 set, but honestly that's not the vast majority of shoppers. It sucks they don't have petites (although do they online?) though.

In the style of Grumpy Cat:

The internships thing drove me bonkers when I was in school. Because internships are great experience that give job seekers a leg up, but the only people who can do them are the people who can afford to have a job and not get paid. That wasn't me—I went to college in DC and couldn't do a single freaking internship…

He should do it in character. Get Bunk to dump the ice on him while he says "What the fuck did I do?"